Password 486
by iamuljjang
Summary: 486 days of love. 486 days to realize it. SasuSaku


**Password 486.**

**by ****iamuljjang**

**

* * *

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**_i. reminiscence_**

By my side was a... friend.

His name? Uchiha Sasuke.

He grew up with me; we were inseparable. I never thought of him more than a friend until a trip from a club. It was then that I realized my feelings for him.

It took a while for me to confess my feelings for him. I don't think it would've made much of a difference anyways; he was emotionally intuned to me. He senses what I'm feeling in the inside, no matter how much I fake it on the outside.

So it's obvious for him that I was in love with him -- confession or not.

We were soon viewed as lovers in the world's eyes. Boyfriend and girlfriend.

To me, he was the only one, but to him?

I don't know.

Maybe I was just another one of his fan girls.

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* * *

**_ii. rejection _**

"Hey, Sasuke-kun. Want to go see a movie?" I asked. School had just finished for the day and we were walking to my house. We haven't spent time together in a long time. The last time we went out was over a month ago.

Sasuke-kun replied stoically, "I can't."

Disappointment captured me; my heart shedded a small tear.

"How come? Ah, do you need to study?" I inquired, my face casting a sorrow expression. I stared at the texture of the cement ground.

He was now walking farther ahead than me. All I could see was his back. "No, I have training."

He was always like that.

Training came number one.

Training triumphs everything and anything.

Training prevails no mater what.

Not even his girlfriend.

* * *

**_iii. unspoken _**

Sasuke-kun was a master in silence.

He had the uncanny ability to say many things in little words.

The only word I've never heard uttered by him was "love".

The word "love" only came from my mouth.

Sure, he was an actions over words guy but none of his actions hinted his love for me.

We don't even celebrate our anniversaries.

What else was I left to rely on?

* * *

**_iv. doubtful _**

He didn't say anything from the first day.

This continued on for 100 days. Then 200 days.

Every day, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a medium-sized doll. The doll was beautiful: porcelain skin, silky, long raven black hair with brilliant baby blue eyes. She was donned in a long, brown Victorian dress and her hair adorned a blue ribbon, accenting the color of her eyes. Her feet had white, lace socks and black dress shoes.

Definitely not homemade.

He would give me an exact replica of this doll every day, without fail. I don't know why.

One day, I decided to take matters in my own hands...

My hands clutched the straps of my backpack tightly. My heart was racing and I felt the heat rising to my cheeks as I shyly stuttered, "Um, Sasuke-kun, I... I..."

"What is it?" Sasuke-kun asked. He stopped and turned around. We were face to face now. Black clashed with green. "Just say it."

"I... I love you, Sasuke-kun!" I shouted. I could've sworn that onlookers were staring at us but I didn't care. I was more focused on him. I can't read him very well but I think his eyes widened by a fraction.

"Sakura, you..." He began and closed his eyes, concealing his obsidian eyes. "Just take this doll and go home."

That was how he ignored my three words and handed -- well, _shoved_ -- the doll in my hands. He swiftly disappeared, walking very fast in long strides. It was almost like he was... running.

Running away.

* * *

**_v. forgotten _**

The dolls I received from him daily slowly filled up my room. One by one, they occupied the space on my shelves and closet. There were so many...

My fifteenth birthday came.

The first picture that came to my mind as I woke up was me and him. A party with me and _him_. Stranded in my room, I waited for his call, but...

Breakfast passed...  
Lunch passed...

Dinner passed...

... And soon, the sky was midnight black yet he still didn't call. I felt tired and almost sick from looking at the phone any second longer.

_Ring ring!_

_Ring ring! _

"Hello?" I mumbled, annoyed and grumpy. It was two in the morning, for Pete's sake!

"Sakura--"

"Sasuke-kun?!" I said, shocked and in disbelief. I couldn't believe it! He finally called! He remembered! Sasuke-kun remembered my birthday!

"--come out of your house."

Even though it was in the middle of the night, even though he woke me from my sleep, I felt overjoyed and ran out happily. I saw him dressed in black waiting by my door, clutching a familiar item in his hands.

I smiled and, from lack of oxygen, managed to sputter out, "Sasuke-kun...!"

Sasuke-kun replied, "Here. Take this."

Again, he handed me the doll.

"What...?" I muttered. I didn't know what else to say.

"I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I'm giving it to you now." He explained and turned on his heels, hands in his pockets, increasing his distance from me slowly, one feet at a time. "I'm going home now, Sakura..."

Panic overwhelmed me.

"Wait, Sasuke-kun!" He stopped. "Do you know what today is?"

"Today?" He paused, trying to remember I suppose. "No, what is it?"

I felt sad as I bit my lip and stared at the ground once more, heartbroken. I thought Sasuke-kun would remember my birthday. He continued walking away after hearing no response from me, only stopping once more after hearing me shout, "Wait!"

"What is it now?" He asked.

I fumbled with my fingers. "Tell me... Tell me that you love me!!"

"What?!" I could hear the shock in the tone of his voice.

I glanced up and look at his back, water in my eyes but I forced them back. "Please... tell me." I took some steps forward and clutched his left wrist only to meet coldness as he shook my hand off.

"I don't want to say that to someone so easily. If you are so desperate to hear it, then find someone else."

That was all he said.

Afterwards, he took off. "Running" once again.

My legs felt numb as I collapsed on the ground.

He didn't want to say it easily.

How... How could he!!

Maybe...

Maybe he isn't the right guy for me...

* * *

**_vii. crushed _**

After that day, I locked myself in my room and just cried. I couldn't stop the tears from pouring out. He didn't call me, even though I was secretly waiting for a call from him. He just continued leaving a doll for me every morning in front of my doorsteps.

Those dolls piled up even more in my room too. Every day.

After a month, I pulled myself together and went to school. The hours flew by and soon I found myself walking home... alone. It felt weird to be walking home from school by myself for the first time. Usually Sasuke-kun would accompany me.

On my way home, on the other side of the street, I spotted... him... with another girl...

Some red-haired girl...

There was no frown on his face as usual. It seemed as if his mouth was curved upwards almost into a _smile_.

He... Sasuke-ku.. I mean, _Sasuke_, he... he never showed _me_ that!

As I saw home touching the doll with his right thumb, I ran straight home, up the stairs, to my room and fell on the bed, sobbing in my pillow. I brought my head up and glared at the dolls in my room, causing more tears to fall.

Why did he give me these?

These dolls are probably picked out by some other girls.

If not, then he probably give these to other girls as well.

In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around.

Suddenly, the phone rang. It was Sasuke. He told me to come to the bus stop near my house. As I walked to the bus stop, I told myself to breathe and relax. That I'm going to forget him. That it's going to end.

He came into my sight, doll in his hands.

"Sakura, I thought you were mad. You really came." He stated.

I couldn't help hating him, acting as if it's all a big joke. Acting as if nothing happened. Just joking around with the whole situation!

He held out the doll for me, as usual.

In disgust, I snapped, "I don't need it."

Again, with his whole not-showing-any-god-damn-emotions-because-I'm-emotionally-retarded-and-it's-not-cool-to-show-anything-else-except-a-blank-face. Except this time, I noticed that his eyes widened again. Just a bit, though. A tiny, tiny bit.

I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the middle of the road.

"I don't need this doll!" I shouted, tears streaming down my face. My hands clutched the remaining pieces of my heart. "I don't need this doll anymore! I don't want to see you ever again!!"

I spitted out the words inside me like venom but this time, he showed a little more emotion than usual: his eyes were shaking and if I were living in a fantasy world, I would've believed that he was _hurt_.

"I'm sorry, Sakura..." In a small voice, he apologized for the very first time in his whole life.

The Uchiha Sasuke... apologized!! Hah. Yeah right. I was hearing things.

He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll.

"Stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!"

But he ignored me and continued his goal.

_Beep beep! _

A huge city bus was heading towards him.

Panic rose in me.

"Sasuke!! Sasuke-kun!! MOVE! MOVE AWAY! THERE'S A BUS!" I screamed.

Seems like he didn't hear me as he bent forward, lifting the doll.

"SASUKE-KUN, MOVE!!!"

_BEEEEEP!!_

_SLAM!_

That sound... It was so... terrifying...

And that's how Sasuke-kun disappeared in my life.

* * *

**_viii. realization _**

That's how Sasuke-kun left me without even opening his eyes to look at me. Without even opening his mouth to say one single word to me.

Every day after that incident, not a single day passed without me feeling guilty or sorrow for the loss of Sasuke-kun. The loss of losing him.

After spending two months as a crazy person, I took out the dolls that I stuffed in several boxes. They were the only gift he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started counting them.

The days when we were in love.

"One... two... three..."

And that's how I started to count the dolls.

"Four-hundred and eighty-four... four-hundred and eighty-five..."

It all ended with 485 dolls.

I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms.

I hugged it tightly, then suddenly...

"I love you, Sakura."

I dropped the doll, shocked.

"W-What?!" I uttered. I picked up the doll and pressed its stomach.

"I love you, Sakura."

"It can't be!"

I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side.

"I love you, Sakura."  
"I love you, Sakura."  
"I love you, Sakura."

Those words came out non-stop.

_"I love you, Sakura." _

Why didn't I realize that?!

That his heart was always by my side, protecting me.

Why didn't I realize that he loved me this much...

I took out the doll under the bed and pressed its stomach. That was the last doll,

the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it.

The voice came out, the one that I was missing so much....

"Sakura... Do you know what today is? We've been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? Ah... I... couldn't say I love you..... directly. If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you.. Everyday 'til I die. Sakura... I love you."

The tears came flowing out of me.

Why? Why? I asked.

God, why do I only know about all this now?

He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute.

For that, and for that reason, to me... it became courage.

Courage to live a beautiful life.

* * *

_fin._

_A/N: So Sasuke was a bit OC for saying "I love you" (oh no, there goes his pride!) and such but whatever. Deal with it. Based on a Korean love story I found online. PS. 486 means say 'i love you' four times, laugh eight times, smile six times... er... something like that. The title is also a song by the Korean singer Younha. Listen to it, it's cute.  
_


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